No Cuts, No Buts, No Coconuts

To avoid wasting time in lines, the Italians have cleverly engineered a new system. It is called, “survival of the fastest.” Word to the wise: do not, I repeat, do not allow more than eight centimeters to come between yourself and the person in front of you in any given line. Note, I use that term very loosely. At times there are groups of people who appear to have organized in a linear fashion, all heading in the same direction. The fact that it mirrors what we, here in the States, refer to as “waiting our turn” is merely a coincidence. In addition to the aforementioned advice, one must refrain from people watching (outside of anyone not posing an eminent threat), shoe tying, and sneezing. If you fail to heed this or my eight centimeter warning (and I have seen it happen with less), the opportunity to claim your spot will be seized. In such case, one must speak up and speak loudly, as it is a long and weary wait for the soft-spoken.